4 People that need to be pushed out of the plane.

In the last year or so I've 'enjoyed' 18 flights on 8 different airlines.  So I have had a fair amount of time to observe my fellow traveller.  Most are of course nice, normal people just hoping for a peaceful flight and perhaps some sleep.  But some really make you want to risk opening the door and just shoving them out of the plane:

1) The Space Invader.  Like the charming Australian man I was seated next to on my most recent flight.   Keeping arms not just firmly on armrest, but over into my space at least 5cm. And exerting pressure (a lot given his size) whenever I moved my arm.  Fortunately most men stop at the armrest, finding merely possession of the armrests on both sides of them enough territory acquisition to feel 'manly'.

2) The negligent parent.  The one who is concerned only that their little angel shall be amused, or that they can have some rest.  Who lets the little angel stomp about the plane even while all others are trying to sleep.  Or run.  Or turn around and find amusement in the passengers behind.  Sure it is not fun travelling with kids, and I have all sympathy for the one who is doing their best to stop their baby crying.  But plane travel is not the time to let them do as they wish.

3)  The foot up on seat person.  Like the delightful woman on the flight to Singapore on Christmas night.  Feet up and a little onto my seat, and of course, just to be truly revolting, using her fingers to clean between her toes.  One step up is the European charmer who decided that she need to stretch out more, so put her foot up on my armrest (she was in the seat behind) so that she could be more comfortable.  Discovered when I felt a foot on my arm.  Which was removed when I concentrated all the body weight I could manage and pushed down with arm on the offending foot.  I'm not mean.  She totally deserved it.

4) The pillow/blanket stealer.  Freaks.  First I encountered was an older (but not elderly) woman who leant forward in her seat and actually dragged the pillow out from under my arm.  Which was fully in my seat area, as I tend to lean against the side of the plane rather than recline...plus I prefer to avoid annoying the person behind by risking it falling back on them.  So no question of ownership - especially as she already had one.  But apparently needed more comfort.  European charmer also offended in her quest to turn an economy seat into something approximating business class.  During the meal she took my blanket and pillow which was down by my seat so I could eat.  Of course, when confronted she returned them and made up some lame excuse.  But of course the actual reason is that she is one of those who is so convinced of their own importance that they feel entitled to more than others.

Perhaps next time I will follow the advice that is circulating on email at the moment (yes, I know, it is in bad taste...and yes, I know it would be at the risk of being taken off the plane, but it would be so funny :D):

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start it up.
4. Make sure the fellow traveller who is annoying you can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky and move your lips like you are praying.
6. Then click here

If I can't teleport, I wish I could at least time travel...

...and then I would take myself back 6 weeks ago to the beginning of my trip to India (or maybe 5 weeks 6 days and 19 hours ago, to have the pesky flight and baggage collection part out of the way...). Of course, even the time on the plane was somewhat exciting - already feeling like I was half there, with a full flight and only 10 Australians perhaps on it...all the rest Indian (even though at least some of them were actually just Indian origin, and making their first trip like me...). And then, when I had my first sighting of the lights of Mumbai...and then, when actually landed (can remember the feeling 'I am officially in India' lol)...and then waiting on the tarmac oh so impatiently (and remembering the impatience Russell Peters talked about in his act)...and then when at last moving off the plane and the excitement of being a little tiny bit 'out' in India as exiting the plane....well, was just amazing...and still remember the mixed feelings of excitement, trepidation, and impatience to be 'out in India' so well!

Other memories of my arrival:

- the flight attendants spraying the plane on arrival (bringing back memories of arriving in Perth back in the 80s)

- being asked by another flight attendant if I had 'done this before', and her wishing me luck when I said I hadn't (and feeling momentarily brave...)

- experiencing my usual 'yes, I know I am following 100 or so people from my plane, but am I going the right way' nervousness...I don't know why I have this, but it happens without fail in every airport I ever arrive at, including that of my own city...

- fixing upon a fairly tall pair of women from my plane and deciding to follow them (at a distance...but I felt 'as long as I can see them, I am in the right place')

- everything being so easy once in the H1N1 line...people telling us where to go, and then so quickly through customs, and talking to the customs officer about where I was going (and yes, next time I am going to Kerala as he suggested :D)

- arriving quite early at the baggage carousel and very quickly learning that you stand right up against the carousel and defend your territory (one of the big difference between travel in India and Australia - in Australia people tend to stand 1m back from the carousel, while in India standing 40cm back means there is space for someone to squeeze in front...)

- talking to a lady originally from India, now living in Sydney who was standing next to me - and so lovely, she even waited for me after her own baggage had come through just to make sure mine came out ok.

- suddenly emerging into India! in a much more dramatic way that I had imagined, with the feeling of entering onto a stage with a huge audience -feeling very conspicuous and torn between walking slowly to find a sign with my name, or getting out of that area asap to a less conspicuous place.

- trying to locate the driver from my hotel, and the happiness and relief when I did.

- waiting for the driver to bring the car (and ok, I was doing this even before boarding the Singapore-Mumbai flight) and checking out the other Australians from the flight (particularly solo women) and being immensely curious as to what their story was - did they live there? were they brave solo travellers? joining a tour? I really am just so nosy...

- driving the short distance to the hotel, and even at 3.30 in the morning everything seemed wildly exciting - the heat and humidity, the style of driving, the buildings, the different vehicles, the closed shops passed

- the very odd feeling of arriving at a silent hotel at 4am and checking in - 4 people in attendance, but oh so quiet

- being unable to sleep from the excitement of it all until I saw a hint of daylight through the curtains

- as I remembered, taking photos of literally everything - the view outside, the hotel room (I was determined to record everything to add to my tripadvisor reviews...), the room service menu, the breakfast, and even the key!

It seems a little odd to include a photo of the bathroom so that is out, the room was a bit messy by the time I photographed the bed etc so I won't add that, the key photo is really boring so not that either...so...here is a photo of my first meal (breakfast) and of the view from the room (I sooo loved the greenery)! Ok, now edited to include photos of the room (oops should've taken before it was trashed), hallway, bathroom, menu etc...