4 People that need to be pushed out of the plane.

In the last year or so I've 'enjoyed' 18 flights on 8 different airlines.  So I have had a fair amount of time to observe my fellow traveller.  Most are of course nice, normal people just hoping for a peaceful flight and perhaps some sleep.  But some really make you want to risk opening the door and just shoving them out of the plane:

1) The Space Invader.  Like the charming Australian man I was seated next to on my most recent flight.   Keeping arms not just firmly on armrest, but over into my space at least 5cm. And exerting pressure (a lot given his size) whenever I moved my arm.  Fortunately most men stop at the armrest, finding merely possession of the armrests on both sides of them enough territory acquisition to feel 'manly'.

2) The negligent parent.  The one who is concerned only that their little angel shall be amused, or that they can have some rest.  Who lets the little angel stomp about the plane even while all others are trying to sleep.  Or run.  Or turn around and find amusement in the passengers behind.  Sure it is not fun travelling with kids, and I have all sympathy for the one who is doing their best to stop their baby crying.  But plane travel is not the time to let them do as they wish.

3)  The foot up on seat person.  Like the delightful woman on the flight to Singapore on Christmas night.  Feet up and a little onto my seat, and of course, just to be truly revolting, using her fingers to clean between her toes.  One step up is the European charmer who decided that she need to stretch out more, so put her foot up on my armrest (she was in the seat behind) so that she could be more comfortable.  Discovered when I felt a foot on my arm.  Which was removed when I concentrated all the body weight I could manage and pushed down with arm on the offending foot.  I'm not mean.  She totally deserved it.

4) The pillow/blanket stealer.  Freaks.  First I encountered was an older (but not elderly) woman who leant forward in her seat and actually dragged the pillow out from under my arm.  Which was fully in my seat area, as I tend to lean against the side of the plane rather than recline...plus I prefer to avoid annoying the person behind by risking it falling back on them.  So no question of ownership - especially as she already had one.  But apparently needed more comfort.  European charmer also offended in her quest to turn an economy seat into something approximating business class.  During the meal she took my blanket and pillow which was down by my seat so I could eat.  Of course, when confronted she returned them and made up some lame excuse.  But of course the actual reason is that she is one of those who is so convinced of their own importance that they feel entitled to more than others.

Perhaps next time I will follow the advice that is circulating on email at the moment (yes, I know, it is in bad taste...and yes, I know it would be at the risk of being taken off the plane, but it would be so funny :D):

1. Quietly and calmly open up your laptop case.
2. Remove your laptop.
3. Start it up.
4. Make sure the fellow traveller who is annoying you can see the screen.
5. Close your eyes and tilt your head up to the sky and move your lips like you are praying.
6. Then click here

5 people I don't want to work with

1)  Dorothy.  As in, the one that is always following the yellow brick road in search of Oz. Oz being whatever new trend is in at the time. The yellow brick road being paved with expensive books, training courses, information sessions, numerous meetings and of course project proposals.  Balanced scorecard, full cost recovery, project management,  mind mapping, workforce planning. And of course, Dorothy being one who enjoys the theory and the self-importance of bringing new catchphrases to a meeting (but not actually work) nothing ever gets completed to stage where there is any benefit to the organisation.  Oh, the potential benefits are identified.  A project plan is constructed.  A team is put in place.  But, inevitably, at some stage before implementation (and generally after several years, many sessions extolling the benefits of this new practise,  and huge expenditure on both internal staff and external consultants), the project will be cancelled as it will be found either not feasible in practise, or 'out of date' (which of course means that Dorothy has read a new book and has a new plan in mind).

2)  Princess.  Almost always female, this workmate either falls apart or starts whining the moment anything at work is not optimal for them.  Assignment on audits in 'boring' vs coastal country towns.  Desk assignment.  Manager assignment.  Expectation of actual work being produced.  Everything is all about them, and how difficult it is for them to work in such conditions.  Especially given their traumatic personal life (which of course needs to be discussed for at least 1/3 of each work day).  Identified by the crowd of minor princesses around them as they are led out of the office in tears, or by the 'wah wah wah waaaah' (the last sound being very high to indicate complaining) of their conversations.

3) The Slacker.  Sometimes also of the princess variety, the slacker has special skills that enable them to complete a full day of work without actually producing any work.  Instead, the day is filled with emailing friends, breaks to smoke, breaks to move their car (better to spend one hour of company time every day moving their car from one short term parking spot to another than actually fork out 4% of their pay for parking), reading the news on the internet (apparently surfing news sites shall be regarded as work, even where the focus is primarily sports), watching news videos on the internet, making personal phone calls, sending texts to friends, chatting to coworkers (if you spend  5 hours chatting to a fellow slacker, it still counts as work time because they are your co-worker.  Apparently).  One I worked with would spend substantial parts of his day with his feet up on his desk.  Even reading novels.  He was a long-time friend of the Director.  He didn't even have to pretend to work.

4) Self-important guy.  Frequently overlapped with Dorothy or Slacker, this workmate is found broadcasting the importance of their work, their great ideas, and generally talking in a self-important way that makes you want to kick them.  And of course, constructing charts (preferably on whiteboards) to try and look important.  As always, at work, it is generally the under-intelligent who are over-confident.  Or at least on the surface.  Another characteristic of self-important guy is that they avoid having their work subject to close scrutiny as they know deep down that if someone with any intelligence sees what they have been doing, they will be exposed as the idiot they are.  Such people are also great at inventing excuses: 'oh, I had to discontinue the project because it was too controversial'...no, you had to discontinue the project following review because it was ill-conceived and with no chance of any constructive outcome.

5) Redneck.  While these people can be found in social situations as well, they are most annoying in the workplace as you cannot escape them.  Whether it be making comments at the news they are reading that are offensive to either race or religion, generalising about countries, telling jokes or anecdotes, or talking to themselves or other workmates, they are offensive and annoying to all non-rednecks.  Doubly of course I am sure for those who actually fall into one of their non-KKK approved categories.  As of course, for these people, having an Aboriginal, Indian or African sitting next to you is no reason to tone it down.

Whiteboard photo from regmedia.co.uk

Nature's Biggest Mistake...or...Maybe All We've Got Going for us is Opposable Thumbs

Humans puzzle me a lot.  We are animals, but we like to feel we are different.  Maybe we are enormously different, maybe not.  Who knows.  We lump all the rest of the animals together and us apart.  But who knows, maybe they are all equally different too.  We just don't know.  We have limited understanding.  But some of us make some pretty big assumptions in the way we regard ourselves, and the way we treat animals too.

In some ways we are different.  We are the only ones who have such devastating impact on the environment and other animals around us.  Who scar it with roads and concrete structures, and use our technology to resist any drought or famine which would naturally return things to balance.  And we are the only animal who is unable to biologically cope with our environments - even those with ancestors long in cold climates require clothes to avoid dying of hypothermia.  Every other animal is adapted to its environment.

I am not drawing any conclusions.  I don't know.  I don't pretend to know.  This, like most things about the world, is a mystery to me.  And I am not interested in adopting what is effectively just a hypothesis as the truth.    Just thinking.  It is interesting.  I would like to know more.

Reminds me of another of my favourite quotes, by Mark Twain.  I like this one a lot:
"It is just like man's vanity and impertinence to call an animal dumb because it is dumb to his dull perceptions."

What is with the arrogance people?!

Grr...have just had an encounter on my facebook wall that made me grr...grumpy...it was in relation to a status I had posted mentioning the uncertainty of my Thailand trip.  Basically went:
Me: the flight has been cancelled...so looking at other flights
Her:  ' remember: we are all in God's hands'  (ok, nothing offensive about that, expressing their beliefs and trying to be comforting).
Me:  Yay, it has just all be confirmed that will definitely go ahead (irrelevant as she didn't see this)
Her:  'Whatever, thank the Lord for his insight and help - whatever the outcome.'  (ok...still trying to be helpful but really getting into the territory of ramming religion down my throat).  
Me:  'It is all happening.  I am not a Christan though...'  
Her:  'LOL!! Do you really think, that makes a difference for HIM? Reminds me of a dialogue out of "The Shellseekers" by Pilcher between a woman whose father just died and the priest: W: "I'm not even sure if my father believed in God." P: "I wouldn't worry about that. I'm pretty sure, that God believed in him."
Big hug dear Cathy.' 


Now THIS annoyed me enormously...so replied:  'That is making some big assumptions...I prefer not to assume...I am happy to accept that the world is a mystery largely...and certainly don't believe there is some 'Lord'...I am open to anything...and dislike only the proclamation of knowledge that no human could possibly have...  And I find it very disrespectful to make the assumption that I am wrong...to basically make the assertion that your beliefs are the correct ones...there are a lot of religions in the world, and a lot of atheists...this in itself is evidence enough that there is no compelling truth known to man...I reserve my right to keep an open mind'.


Now, I really don't care what religion someone is, or if they have one...if they are basically a good person who shows care for other then that is all I need to know...but I do mind when people try to convert others, put other religions down or are arrogant about theirs.  And I have seen a lot of this on facebook and in real life - some from randoms, some from old school friends...things like:
- someone trying to convert me to Christianity in the first online chat I had with them.  
- a tourist in Bali asking some locals (Hindus) 'but have you considered Christianity'
- well, the world as a whole I guess...all those who have gone to various countries and either as missionaries or in the course of their invasion tried to convert the 'heathens'.
- some of the statements of religion in people's 'About Me'...examples:
        * 'There is one God, and only one prophet of God, and it is Jesus Christ'
        * 'Know Jesus, Know Life, No Jesus, No Life'
        * 'Life is not a wheel with many spokes, there is only one way and that is Jesus'.


I just don't understand this arrogance.  And even more, I don't understand why people are so arrogant that they feel the need to express it to others who clearly don't feel the same way, or to those who it may offend.  Grr at them.  Believe what you will...share if you can be respectful...and let others do the same. 


Ok, I feel better now :D